Honey, That's Love
by Evelyn Briar Black
Summary: He is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. He brings out the best and the worst in me. He makes me hate him and he makes me love him. Sometimes I want to marry him, and other times I want to tape that jerk's mouth shut. Has been rewritten.
1. Preface

**I do not have ownership of Twilight or any of it's characters.**

**This is going to be my outlet for my Jacob love. I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

~Preface~

"So, I have to ask you a question?" I sighed, averting my eyes from his steady gaze.

We lay in the bed of my truck, lying watching the stars under a blanket. I cuddled close to him, the night wind freezing against my body. He was warm to touch, steaming hot in both looks and temperature. Our faces were close, breaths brushing each other's faces. His eyes were as shining as usual.

"Anything, of course," he answered. My heart beat quickened at the sound of his voice, as it always did. That annoyed the hell out of me, every single time.

How exactly was I suppose to put this? I knew, it wasn't what he expected, and it wasn't what I wanted to say either. When I first met him, I never expected it to get this far. I never expected to feel this way about anyone in my entire life. It was a feeling, I didn't understand at all.

How just the sound of his voice, could make my heart beat quicken or how his touch made me shiver with pleasure. How when we kissed, his gentle lips made me feel alive. When it was with more passion, more lust, it was crazy. I couldn't believe how far we could get in a matter of minutes. How the first time he kissed me, my first kiss ever, also turned out to be my first time at first base in a matter of seconds. It was insane, and unbelievable at best.

And that's exactly why I have to do this.

I lifted my pale hand and caressed his tan cheek. "Are you sure, that this is going okay?"

"What do you mean?" Jake questioned, light hearted.

I remained silent, and he must have realized it was something important. He pulled me closer to him and rubbed my back, worried about me. "What's wrong Meg?"

I didn't want to do it. What am I talking about, I can't give this up? This is the best thing that has ever happened to me in… forever. I couldn't end this, I just couldn't.

The image of my mother flashed through my brain. Next both my grandmothers, my aunts, my cousins.

I sat up from him and pulled away. He stood up simultaneously, like we were attached by a string. That's how it seemed majority of the time, no matter how cliché it was.

"Meg, are you okay?" he questioned. I refused to look him in the eyes. If I did, he would win no doubt. His voice already was getting me half way there.

"Jake, we're over," I said, probably louder than usual. Like a band-aid, fast and over with.

He was silent, and all I could hear was the sound of night around us. My eyes kept locked with his chest, covered by a tight fitting grey t-shirt. I remembered that skin, what it felt like against mine those many times. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the memories.

"Why?" he wondered, sounding desperate.

I knew what look he had in his eyes, without even looking at them. Those eyes killed me. Jacob Black was my only weakness, the only thing that could break me.

And that's why he had to go.

I stood up and hoped out of the car bed. He stood up slowly and followed me, bringing the blanket with him. I sighed as he stood near me, his chest eye level.

"I just… can't do this anymore Jake," I whispered.

He grabbed my chin, a little rougher than usual and made me look at his face, into his eyes.

"Jacob-"

"Meg, what's wrong. We were just fine tonight, and now you say you want this to be over. Is everything okay? Is your dad mad at you again, are you too stressed out, what?" he asked, desperately.

His eyes were full, full of sadness, desperation, and love. He'd told me many times, that I was his life and meaning. He'd shown it to me, on many occasions. I loved him, so much. As much of a weakness he was to me, he was also my strength. He brought out the best, and the worst in me.

I broke away from him, stepping away.

"Meg?"

"Jake, please," I said.

"Meg, what the hell is wrong? This isn't like you at all," he argued, getting angry.

And that's when I did too. "And what is like me Jake?"

"Not this. Meg, please explain this to me."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, here's my explanation. I don't want you Jacob because I deserve better. You were fun, but I'm not giving up my life for this. I mean, I'm eighteen and way too young for this," I explained, letting venom spray my words.

Wrong, oh so wrong.

He looked like an arrow had just been shot through him.

"I'm done Jacob. You're not good for me and.. I need to be on my own."

More lies.

He just stood there, taking it. I walked past him, and made my way to the driver's side of the car. He just watched me, bruised as I'd ever seen him. It hurt me, desperately. I looked away, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Meg…"

"Please Jake, don't," I interrupted.

With my eyes shut tight, trying to keep the tears inside, I hoped into the car and slammed the door behind me.

I didn't look back as I drove off. I didn't let any tears fall. I was doing the right thing, and I knew that. Everyone would be proud of me.

Everyone, except me.

Life doesn't always go the way you expect it to and life is definitely a gray area. No one is born with a meaning. There is no right and wrong. Life is hard, and that's why no one lives through it. What you are supposed to do and what you need to do are two completely different things.

But which one was right?

* * *

**Chapter one should be coming soon. Ideas are much needed, so please review with some if you can. Everything will be taken into consideration.**


	2. Cliff Diving is Apparently Recreational

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They are owned by Stephenie Meyer and Summit.

**Important Note:** To those who have read the previous chapter 2 (technically chapter one), titled _The Worst Babysitter Ever_, I have decided to re-write this story. You've probably noticed that chapter 3 (technically chapter 2) has been deleted and I've reuploaded this chapter. So guys this is very different from the original chapter version, so you need to read it. Don't worry, it is still the same story with same characters, I was just unsatisfied with my previous work and decided to re-do it. I'm sure you will agree with me that this chapter is an improvment from the previous.

MoonDragonLove was my beta for this chapter. She's amazing and if anyone is an Ouran fan, you need to check out her wonderful stories.

* * *

~Chapter 1: Cliff-Diving is Apparently Recreational~

Before I get started I would like to warn you that if you're looking for some happy high school puppy love romance, ending in the main couple getting married and popping out baby after baby, you've come to the wrong place. This story is also not your heart-wrenching emotional porno that Nicholas Sparks is getting paid millions of dollars to write over and over again. As much as I'd like to say that my high school love life was as nice and happy as the characters from _High School Musical_, I can't. I'd simply be lying.

This story is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I'm sure there will be times when I'm writing this and I'll really want to make things look simpler, more romantic, or even just make myself look like less of a bitch. There will be times when I'll want to cut out a fight over something stupid, not tell you about a dumb mistake, or simply put in a made up character to light up the room when things look dim. But I owe it to you guys to write what really happened.

So here I go, writing plain and simple the real story. What really happened between me and Jacob Black.

* * *

"Meg, I want to go to the beach," the little girl smiled, pulling on the sleeve of my t-shirt.

"That's nice," I responded, pushing her aside.

"Meg, I want to go to the beach," she repeated, her tone changed to angry.

I felt a tantrum coming on.

"Yeah, I know. You told me."

"Meg, why don't you take Lux to the beach?" Norah announced from the kitchen. Her voice was so shrill a sound I had to restrain myself from cringing. I was still not used to having so many females in the house.

I sighed, closing my book in my lap. I finally looked up at Lux. She stood next to me as I sat on the couch in the living room. She was already wearing her bathing suit and had a bucket full of sand tools in her tiny five year old hands. Her platinum blond hair was tied into two low pigtails at the sides of her head. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, she's so cute, and maybe I would have thought the same if she wasn't sticking her tongue out at me.

So I stuck mine out right back at her.

"Because I'm reading," I hollered back at her, my voice slightly annoyed.

"Can't you read at the beach?" she responded back, having the same tone to her voice as she always did; like she was trying to sound like the sweet new mommy that all the kids fall for.

"I don't want to," I answered quickly, opening up my book again. I was almost done; maybe a half hour and it'd be finished.

I heard her footsteps coming towards me and I knew I was screwed.

"Megara Violet Williamson, why are you being so selfish? Your little sister wants to go to the beach with you and you tell her no so you can read, something you can do at the beach anyway. That's nothing like how your father described you."

Norah Roberta Williamson nee Johnson: twenty five years old, five feet nine inches, one hundred and three pounds. Unnatural blond hair, big brown eyes, and a fake tan that would make _Snookie _feel pale. She's my stepmother and a total bitch. Really, she puts me to shame.

"Norah-"

"How many times have I asked you not to call me Norah," she answered. I knew she was annoyed with me even though she was keeping up with the mother voice.

"I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable calling someone only seven years older than me mom."

I looked over the cover of my book. She looked like a deer stuck in headlights. I swore I almost saw her twitch in her right eye.

She grabbed Lux by her arm and pulled the little girl closer to her.

"Take her to the beach."

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so."

I sighed, rolling my eyes. I was not in the mood to deal with this.

I stood up from my comfortable spot on the couch and went to my room to get ready for the beach.

I wondered many times how my life had changed so dramatically. Just a couple of weeks ago I was happily in Minnesota with my mother, my real mother. I was helping her cook dinner, expecting to go back home to Ohio in a couple days. My father would be there waiting for me. He'd tell me about how his summer went without me before we went to the local movie theater to see the final Harry Potter movie for the sixth time. My friends would call me non-stop, wanting to catch up and hang out again. In a few more weeks I would go back to the quaint Charles F. Brush High School for my senior year.

A completely normal life, if I would say so myself.

It all changed when I got a call during my last week with my mom.

In that one phone call I found out that my dad had gotten married, he had a new step daughter, and had bought a house in Washington State.

Yeah dad, not your best news delivery ever.

I guess while my dad was spending his summer without me, he and a couple of friends went to Las Vegas for a weekend of gambling, drinking, and strippers. You know a typical Vegas trip for three single men.

My dad ended up staying about two weeks. While out partying he met _"the most amazing woman in the world"_ and they got married a few weeks later. This woman was a single mother from Seattle, named Norah Johnson.

The couple decided to buy a house in Washington so then Norah could stay near her family, but my dad wanted a small town and _of course_ Norah felt the exact same way. They decided on a small town called La Push.

What am I kidding; it's not even a town. It's a freakin' reservation! Why they decided on a town that was nearly five hours away from Norah's family she wanted to be oh so close to, I'm not exactly sure. The story I was given was that when Norah was little (like what eight years ago?) she would spend summers down there with family friends.

And I guess La Push really wasn't so bad. I bet I probably would have even liked it if it wasn't for my new roommates. I'd wanted to move for a long time, just for a change. I'd lived in the mid-west my entire life and not including the summers I spent with my mom, I'd lived in the same house for almost eighteen years. I wanted change, but I think this was a little too much.

I slammed my bedroom door shut and locked it. If I was to survive an afternoon at a freezing dirt beach with a five year old, I need some peace and quiet. Just for a few minutes.

My new room still wasn't totally unpacked. It was a fair size, but smaller than what I had before, with not much floor space. I had painted the walls chocolate brown, my favorite color, and the trim white. I hadn't set up my bed yet, being too lazy to do it myself and my dad being too busy with his new job to do it for me. So, I just had two mattresses on the floor.

I had a dresser with a mirror and a desk with a laptop, a gift from my real mom that I got before leaving back home to dad. She called it an early college present. I also had a small wooden bookcase that my dad had built for me when I was younger. It held all the books I owned, everything from Judy Blume, to Shakespeare, to my new Manga obsessions.

There were boxes and suitcases all over the place. My clothes and books were pretty much the only things I had unpacked. Everything else was still in their packaging, ready when I needed them. I don't know why I was being so lazy, I just kind of felt like it. I was sure once school got back into swing and everything started becoming normal, I'd unpack everything and settle in. As crazy as I felt about my new life change, I knew eventually it would become normal. Everything did eventually.

I walked over to my closet and got dressed slowly, taking my time. Outside my window the sky looked gray and since it was Washington, I was sure it was going to be cold so I picked up a bulky gray sweatshirt and tied it around my waist.

Next I went to the suitcase nearest my bed and pulled out a tote bag. I found my sketchpad and a few pencils with a sharpener and a million erasers. I found my iPod, Arthur, and plopped him inside as well. Then, I finally went to the mirror and put up my long copper hair into a low ponytail at the nape of my neck.

Yep, this was as good as it was going to get for a crappy Washington beach.

I sighed, preparing myself for what awaited me and went outside to the living room.

Norah and Lux were waiting for me.

"Here's a blanket," Norah told me, handing the said blue item.

I nodded, plopping it into my tote bag.

"We'll be back before dinner," I sighed.

Norah nodded. "It will be done at six. Be careful," she called out, trying to be a mom again.

"Bye Mommy!" Lux yelled after her.

"Bye girls," Norah said just as enthusiastically as I shut the door behind me.

* * *

I have to give props to Lux, she is creative. We've been at the beach for maybe an hour and she has been able to keep herself entertained the entire time. After going into the water, freezing her butt off, she was now making a sand castle, well, more of a dirt castle. It was actually pretty good too, better than I could ever do.

I was sitting on the blanket, earbuds in, and drawing away. Lately I'd gotten into a little obsession of drawing the Disney characters, but realistically and in different ways. It was a lot of fun actually and really got my brain moving. I was on Tarzan now, and had a picture of him taped to the corner of the sketchpad as I drew.

I was totally focused on trying to get Tarzan's eyes right. Eyes are my weak point, and I usually have to draw eyes at least twenty times to get them perfect. His weren't the easiest either. But this time, I think I was getting lucky. It was only my fifth try and the left eye was perfect. Now, I just had to do the exact same to the right. I worked slowly, with a clean curved stroke. So far, it was looking good. Just got to do the irises and…

"Megie, look!" Lux yelled, shaking my arm. My pencil marks went across the page, ruining the eyes and majority of the drawing.

I pulled away from her angrily and pulled an earbud out.

"_What!"_ I hollered, angry.

She pointed her tiny finger up to the top of the cliff. "What are those boys doing?" She questioned, sounding worried.

I looked up at the top of the cliff not too far away from us. Sure enough, at the highest ledge was a group of what looked like men or maybe boys? I wasn't close enough to tell.

I shrugged my shoulders and put my earbud back in, not thinking much of it.

"It's nothing Lux. They're probably bored. Just keep playing with your dirt castle," I told her, trying to gently erase the new found pencil marks on my sketchbook.

I'd just erased the line when I heard a scream.

"WHAT LUX!" I yelled, annoyed. Knowing her, she'd probably seen a bug or something.

She just lifted a shaky finger at the boys up on the cliff. "They jumped," she squeaked.

I took out my other earbud. "Huh?"

She didn't need to explain though, because then another boy jumped off as well, head first and backwards. I sat up straighter.

"What the hell?"

Lux gasped and I rolled my eyes, not bothering to apologize for my language.

I put down my pad and stood up as another guy followed, diving down into the freezing black water.

And of course, Lux screamed again.

"Will you calm down?" I said annoyed.

I looked at the bottom, and sure enough a guy was climbing out of the water.

"See Lux, he's fine," I told her.

Lux shook her head, scared.

"Why are you so scared?" I wondered.

Lux just shivered. For god's sake child, it's not like you're the one jumping off that cliff.

Normally, I would have just ignored this situation, but I knew better. All though it hasn't happened yet, I knew that Norah would blame me for this if she came home scared. Since my first day of school was tomorrow, I really wasn't in the mood for a pointless lecture. I groaned and reached out my arm to her.

She grabbed a hold of me and we walked towards them, her following a bit behind.

They weren't too far away, and I didn't think I was that invisible, but no one seemed to notice me as I walked forward. As we got there, the one originally coming out was gone, so I waited for the next one to walk up to us.

I couldn't tell if he was a teenager or a man. The smile on his face was goofy, like a teenager, but everything else about him was at least early twenties. He was very tall, lean, & full of muscles. His hair was black and a little shaggy, wet against his russet skin. He had fair size dark eyes and was wearing nothing but black sweatpants. My friends back home would use one word to describe him: delicious.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" I questioned as he got closer to me.

He smiled. "Cliff-diving, recreational around here," he answered. "Are you from Forks or are you new around here?" He asked. I was sure he was a teenager then, by the tone of his voice and his goofy smile. The guy was pretty cute.

"New here," I shrugged.

Lux tugged my arm and cuddled in a bit closer to me. "Uh, you and your friends kind of scared…" I struggled to find a title for Lux. Sister? No. Uhh…? "Her. She's terrified for some reason."

The guy looked down at the cowering Lux, finally realizing she was there I guess. He smiled at her brightly. Hmm, must have been a kid person.

He crouched down to her level, and Lux practically hid behind me. "Hey, what scared you sweetie?" He wondered.

Lux just looked up at me. I motioned for her to answer him, but she was reluctant.

"Hey, I won't hurt you," he said, "My names Embry, I live around here," he greeted. "What's your name?"

She just kind of stared at him a few moments. Still hiding behind my legs, she said quietly. "Lux."

"Lux, that's a pretty name," Embry answered, smiling. After a moment he stood back up.

"Sorry for scaring her," he said kindly.

I shrugged. "It's not like you can help it."

Embry nodded. "So… you're new here?"

I nodded.

"What's your name?"

"Meg," I answered simply.

"You're going to La Push High, right?" he wondered.

I nodded. "Yep, should be fun," I said sarcastically.

He laughed. "Yeah, should be. Sophomore?"

"Senior," I answered. I looked young for my age, what can I say? I was used to it.

He looked taken aback. "Really?"

I nodded. "And how old are you mister?" I wondered.

"Seventeen, I'm gonna be a senior too," he answered.

"Cool," I answered.

There was an awkward silence between us, a silence which was disrupted by Lux's faint cough.

"So, uhmm, I guess I'll see you around then?" I said.

Embry nodded, "Hey, uhmm, there's a bonfire later tonight, do you want to come?" he questioned. "With Lux of course."

I shook my head. "Thanks but, no thanks. School tomorrow, you know," I said.

"It won't be very late, just like twelve," he pleaded.

"I didn't get any sleep last night, but thanks," I apologized.

Embry nodded knowingly.

"Then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, at school?" Embry wondered.

I nodded. "Sure, tomorrow."

And with that, I dragged Lux back with me to the blanket.

I felt a little bad for leaving Embry so abruptly, but I knew it was getting close to six and it was starting to get awkward. I didn't want to keep him away from his friends and I knew that if I had stayed talking to him any longer I probably would have ended up reaching for his abs.

I couldn't help but notice.

"Hey Lux, why don't we go home now?" I suggested as we came back to our beach blanket.

"No…" she wined, back to her usual five year old self. "I have to finish my sand castle!"

I groaned. "Fine, you have ten minutes before we're picking everything up," I said sternly, showing her I meant what I said.

And with that she scurried off to finish her work.

* * *

Dinner time; the one thing that stays pretty much the same. Although I will say that I do miss when it was me and my Dad, talking about our days or even just a TV show we watched. It was great.

Now I spend majority of dinner silent as Norah tells my father all about her day, even when she doesn't do anything. Right now she had just got done telling him what was on _Dr. Phil_, and was now moving on to an article she read in _Cosmopolitan_.

My father through majority of my life had been pretty much my best friend. When I was really young I was really quiet, not shy, just quiet. I didn't have very many friends. Through my lonely elementary school days my father and I had formed a bond. During that time my dad went to work at night so then he could go to classes at the local community college during the day. I remember countless nights at the dinner table, finding it the funniest thing on earth that my father and I were both doing homework.

My parents had me when they were both seventeen. I was unexpected and my parents weren't even really together, but they decided to try to make it work for me. They got married not long after I was born, but ended up divorcing after five years of dead-end jobs and countless arguing.

I stayed with dad and spent summers with mom so then I wouldn't have to move. My parents decided it would be better that way.

My father is now thirty five years old with a degree in business. He used to be the manager of a car making plant, but now he had a job managing a clothing factory a couple towns away. The long drives made him have to leave early in the morning and not arrive home till around seven each night.

My dad was a bigger man, more in bulk though than fat. He wasn't muscular though, just big. He was fair height with shaggy brown hair and bright blue eyes, something I had inherited from him.

"So Meg, are you excited for school tomorrow?" my dad questioned, interrupting Norah before she started on another subject. I had zoned out a moment before, thinking about the book I had just finished so it took me a moment to answer.

"Uh, not really," I responded.

He chuckled his infectious laugh. It was always contagious.

"You're not nervous though, right?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, I pretty much just want to get it over with," I answered truthfully.

"Yeah, I understand the feeling. I do hope you enjoy yourself though."

"Dad, its school. I think that's impossible," I chuckled.

His smile brightened. "Point taken."

"Meggie took me to the beach today," Lux joined in, speaking for the first time this dinner.

Lux had fallen in love quickly with my father; something that I guess wasn't too unexpected. Most people, especially kids liked my father easily. There was just something about his personality that got people I guess.

"Really? What did you guys do?" he asked, taking a bite of his pasta salad.

"Well the water was freezing, so I built a sand castle. It was a really good one too."

"That sounds nice," my father noted.

"And these guys, they jumped off a cliff!" Lux continued animatedly throwing her hands up in the air.

"What?" Norah practically shouted, sounding shocked.

"Yeah, these guys they jumped off the cliff. And then I told Meggie I was scared so we went and met this boy. His name was Embry. He was nice."

"Oh, cliff-diving where they? I used to do that when I was younger," my dad smiled, continuing with his meal.

"Yeah, they were a couple guys around my age," I added.

"Hmm, so did you meet anyone you were interested in?" Norah questioned a smirk on her lips and a suspicious tone to her voice.

I rolled my eyes. "No."

"Embry's cute. I think he liked me." Lux announced to the family. I covered my mouth, trying to hold in my laughter.

The little girl sat in her chair innocently, twirling a blond pigtail with one hand and eating her dinner with the other.

My dad chuckled with me as Norah sat dumbstruck.

"Oh, really. What makes you think so Luxie Loo?" my dad smiled.

"He was nice and he smiled at me."

"Oh, he did, did he?" my dad continued laughing.

"Lux, I think he's a little out of your league."

The little blond turned her head to the side, looking at me like I was a puzzle she couldn't figure out.

"Mommy, what does that mean?"

"It means he's too old for you honey,"

"Nah ah, he's not that much older," Lux argued.

"Yeah, he is. Twelve years. Maybe when you go to Kindergarten tomorrow you can find a different guy," I told her.

Lux pouted, not responding after that.

As much as that little girl annoyed me, she could be fun sometimes.

* * *

Author's Note:

Okay, so as you see quite a bit different ending from the original.

If you had already reviewed the previous chapter "The Worst Babysitter Ever" I would really appreciate it if you could review again by private messaging me on my account and telling me what you think since stupid fanfiction won't delete the reviews to a deleted chapters, something I don't understand.

Anyway, if this is your first time reading this story, just ignore that previous message and I want to say thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed what I have so far and come back for more. I hope to update soon.

Yes, I did get the name Megara from Disney's_ Hercules_. I've loved the name for a long time and have decided to use it. Although she has the same name, any similarities to her are completely unintentional. Megara Williamson is an OC of my own creation.

And yet again, this chapter is dedicated to Feuer Vogel14 who helped me like crazy with the previous version & MoonDragonLove who betaed this chapter and has constantly been a great friend of mine, helping me with many of my stories.


End file.
